Some People Never Change

sometimes I wonder why or how I actually fell for you..
I mean, u're never faithful..
u have lots of other 'friends' behind my back..
and when I found out your secret u said that I abandoned you..
u felt lonely, bored..
god, what kind a person are you?
attention whore much?
anyways, i'm glad we're not together anymore..
i dunno why i thought u could change..
i was wrong all along..
and the girl u left me for?
she's a bitch..
why?
because she said she's never going back to u and trusting u again after u made her break up with her previous boyfriend..
and what do we have here?
both of u together again?
great, u wanna know something?
u guys deserve each other..
i pray that u guys end up married with each other..
and play around each other's backs..

Mistake

Have u ever had a moment where u're stuck in a relationship but somehow a guy managed to steal a bit of ur heart?

At the time u felt that u're ready to walk away from the relationship u've built just to be with him?

Well, i did..or at least i thought it was just a fling..

I was so ready to leave my boyfriend to be with him..

I dunno what's gotten over me but i wanted to be with him..

Only him..

But then reality hits..i'm in a relationship where i can't easily walk away from..

We've promised to build a life together..

He kept it of course..

But me?

Then we got into a huge fight..just because of this guy..

I made my boyfriend cry..

At the time, i didn't care..

All i see was him..

I almost ended it..

Even my boyfriend told my mum that i have someone new..

Thinking what my parents would think of me, i made amends with my boyfriend..

In return, i have to forget him..

I had to delete my pictures with him..

Throw away the only gift he gave me..

Block him on social media..

Without having the opportunity to explain things to him..

To at least make him understand my situation at the time..

I spend most of my nights crying because of him..

All of this just to get back my parents's trust..

Lately i suddenly thought of him..

All the memories that i blocked gushed through my mind..

I unblocked him on facebook and add him as a friend..

Hoping he'd approve..and he did..

But no message whatsoever..

So i made the 1st move..

But he pushed me away..

He was mad because i suddenly dissappeared and decided to show up now..

I tried to explain to him but he doesn't want to know..

At least i got his apology..

Now i'm spending most of my days and nights thinking about him..

His face always at the tip of my mind..

Our memories together clouded my vision..

Without realizing tears flowed down my cheeks..

God, i miss him..

I really do..

But i know he's too hurt..

So i pray to god that He will give me strength to let him go for real this time..

I pray that u'll find someone much better than me who can take good care of u..

I'm really sorry..

I wish u'll find closure and move on like what i had to..

Now all i can do is just act like everything is fine and no one will ever notice..

Hey u!

Hey u..

Sori klau u pk i abaikn u..

N x nk cntact u..

I nk..

Cume u pn phm kn bf i cmne..

I mntk maaf sgt2..

Sbb i da jnji ngan bf i x cntact u lg..

Da byk kali gak i mungkir jnji tu..

So mcm serba slh sbnrnye klau i wt lg..

Actually mse kt mlake tu bf i tetbe dtg..

Nk wt suprise kate die..

I x expect pn die dtg sbnrnye..

I plak x smpat nk btw u..

Mse u chat i tu i ngan die kt mydin mitc..

I gduh ngan die..

Die pk i ade feeling kt u lg..

Die mrh i..

I ckp kte kwn jer..

U byk support i..

Lg2 ble die abaikn i..

Tp die x phm..

So i tpakse la mengalah..

Tp ble tgk gmbr2 nie i tersenyum sndri..

Tringat lg mse tu..

Klakar..

I ngah cdey psl dinie..

Tp u wt lawak bodo sume..

Amek2 gmbr ngan eyda n tyra..

Tetbe eyda suh amek gmbr cmni..

Time tu mmg x tahan sgt nk gelak..

Tp ble i tgk gmbr nie..

I rndu..

Rndu time dlu2..

Time i bley kwn ngan sespe jer..

Time i hepi..

X yah jge ati sespe..

Trase skang nie i da lain sgt..

Mcm da x knal dri sndri pn ade gak..

Ntah la, maybe sbb byk dugaan kn..

:)

happiness is temporary..

Farhan Afiz bin Abas..
aku knal die mse bowling tu..
die kwn Dinie..
actually partner dinie mse diorg tournament sme2 tu..
prangai die sebijik mcm azwan, bestfren aku tu..
n sbbkn prangai die tu la aku rapat ngan die..
ktorg start kuar sme2..
g mkn, tgk wyg..
lepak2 jer..
g pantai..
die byk luahkn prob die kt aku n aku pn sme..
we sort of clicked mse tu..
mmg rse bahagia..
n die pnah ajak aku kapel..
tp aku tolak..
sbb die pn ade gf..
yes, he's taken..
tp die ckp die ade prob ngan gf die..
they're on the verge of breaking up..
tp ati aku still tkut..
then die ajak aku skandal ngan die..
well, considering aku single n i felt comfortable with him..
i accepted..
tp die x sme ngan yg aku knal..
he's different once i accepted his request to be more than friends..
die start ngongkong aku..
he's become over protective of me..
which is good least of the times..
tp seriously it makes me feel trapped..
rimas..
i felt suffocated..
n ati aku terseksa..
and whenever i mention dinie's name he will start to change..
die akn mrh2 aku..
tengking2 aku..
n die suh aku delete sume gmbr dinie..
sume whatsapp aku n dinie..
die ckp, klau die nmpk lg aku whatsapp2 ngan dinie..
or ade pape lg kaitan ngan dinie kt fon aku mse kuar ngan die..
die xkn teragak2 utk tgglkn aku kt tepi jln..
kt mane pn ktorg g mse tu..
he felt like a total stranger to me..
it's almost like i never knew him..
n bnde tu ckit demi ckit wt aku twar ati ngan die..
aku pn x tw..
n lastly, aku mntk die lpaskn aku..
die tnye npe..
ape slh die..
aku just ckp aku twar ati..
tu jer..
die nanges2, mrayu kt aku utk dptkn syg tu blek..
tp aku x bley..
last aku jmpe die, aku x pndg pn mke die..
bkn sbb bnci, bkn sbb nyampah..
tp sbb aku x sggup nk tgk die menanges sbb aku..
aku x sggup nk tgk kesakitan kt mata die ble aku ckp ati aku xde kt die..
i'm a normal human being..
i have feelings..
n having this ability to read other people feelings is really a burden to me..
especially at times like this..
no matter what, all i want to say is i'm really sorry..
but i don't regret leaving u farhan..
u made me happy at first..
but now i realize that sometimes..
happiness is just temporary..
and so is love..
before God let u meet with ur soulmate..
:)

second chances?

hey guys?
believe in second chances?
well..i dunno..
to me it depends on the situation i'm stuck in..
well..i had to say that i am unpredictable..
and it also depends on the guy himself..
is he really determined to get me back?
is he willing to do what it takes to get my heart back?
if he is..
then, it's a big maybe..
but if he stays the way he was..
then, i'm sorry but no second chances..
no more..
sorry..

it came again..

it's been quite a while..

lots have been happening..

well, this story goes like this..

dinie faliq bin mokhtar..

aku start knal die mse kt bowling tournament..

ok, ktorg start volunteer mse ngah cuti sem..

mse tu da abes sem 5 tp kne nek awl sbb nk prepare utk sem 6 pnye event..

mle2 volunteer utk golf pnye tournament..

en shahrir yg mntk tlg..

kebetulan ktorg pn xde pape mse tu..

join jela..

aku, kak keen, ana, cipa n wadud mse tu..

erin nk join tp die ade hal plak last2 minute..

so, dr ctu knal la pegawai2 unit sukan..

mle2 awkward gak la tp lme2 da ok da..

lpas tu en din unit sukan mntk tlg volunteer utk bowling plak..

ktorg pn volunteer jela..

sbb dpt duet..

hehehe..

em, mse tournament tu aku ingt nk jd photographer..

so, x yah jd lane marshall..

fuhh (lega gler)

em, so keje aku is berjalan2 n snap2 gmbr ape yg ptut la kn..

then, ngah jln2 cuci mate skali nmpk la sorg mamat nie..

mle2 tgk die aku x berkelip..

dlm ati aku da ckp, "wow, hensemnye mamat nie"

then, aku tgk die dak pmm..

plik gak la sbb x pnah nmpk pn..

huhu..

kebetulan kak keen jge lane yg die ngah men..

so, aku jenguk2 la nme die..

dinie faliq..

em, nme pn sdap..

not bad..

kebetulan cipa pn mnat die gak..

hehe, ade geng rpenye..

so, mle2 aku cm nk kenengkan die ngan cipa..

tp cipa mcm malu sgt..

lpas tu die plak mcm tgur2 aku..

aku lyn jela mcm biase..

tp x tw cmne..

aku bley tersuke kt die..

n rse syg tu pn timbul plak..

tp, die da ade gf..

agak kecewa gak la mse tu..

tp nk wt cmne kn..

takdir..

em, ktorg rapat..

slalu whatsapp..

kdg2 kol..

tp die jnis yg x ske nk gayut sgt..

x ksahla tu..

tp die ade jnji yg die xkn tgglkn aku..

n aku pn sme..

die ckp walau ape pn jd die x nk stop cntact ngan aku..

die ckp die x sggup..

tp die x pnah ckp die sygkn aku..

ble aku tnye die mcm x nk jwb..

ntahla, aku pn x tw nk ckp ape..

ble aku tgk gmbr die ngan gf die mesty aku jelez gler2..

huhu..

tgkla gmbr nie..

klau korg kt tmpt aku korg jelez x?

mestyla jelez kn..

huhu..

tp ade mse tu die mmg bz gler..

smpi nk whatsapp pn ble die nk tdo jer..

aku cbe la nk positifkn dri..

tp sbb die x pnah ckp die syg aku lbey dr kwn..

n aku tgk twitter gf die..

mcm2 da dlm kpale otak nie..

em, aku ckpla ngan die aku x nk bhrp sgt kt die..

tp die ckp kt aku die x syg aku lg..

die anggap aku kwn biase jer..

mse tu aku da nanges..

air mate nie trus2 ngalir x bnti2..

cdey sgt2..

aku x pnah trase kecewa smpi cmni..

smpi aku hmpir ptus asa..

aku hmpir mental breakdown..

tp die x sdar sume tu..

die x pnah amek pduli pn..

anyway, thanks a lot dinie for all the wonderful memories..

i'll remember it forever..

thanks for giving me a chance to be someone special in ur life..

even if it is temporary..

i love u..

i still do..

remember that..

even if u ckp u anggap i kwn biase jer..

deep in ur heart i know u feel the same way too..

n i hope my dreams of watching u sit in front of my dad..

reciting the akad nikah will come true..

in sha allah..

amin...

:)

pandainye~

pandainye cover kn awk nie..
dpn org bkn men innocent lg mke..
blakang cm setan, iblis sume de..
ya allah, tlg la taubat wahai hamba allah..
smpi ble nk truskn prangai cmni..
tlg la taubat cpt2..